Time changes, and as it does, so do ideals.
There has been a change in the belief of women, in our attitudes, in our behaviours. This change varies across different cultures and different places. Nevertheless, it is somewhat similar. As infinitesimal as the change occurred, so rapid was the outcome. Many of us cannot even fathom how it came about yet we have been thoroughly swept off our feet by this sea of change, and most us- women, remain hopelessly immersed in it. Drowned. Some others are trying to stay afloat but very few languish ashore, once in a while getting their feet wet but never really giving the sea the chance to get them drenched.
I am talking about the change that has brought about a constant gratification of our appearance for us to feel good about ourselves.
For starters, there’s the Make – up.
There are some of us who have become excessively indulgent on make-up that they can hardly tolerate their true image without it; they literally cringe whenever they regard their true reflections in the mirror. Even more so they can barely let anyone, especially the opposite sex, see them without it. Some of us women have become so addicted, that it has become a mask – our second skin. I started using make-up six years ago, and today I wish I never started. I miss my beautiful clear skin that did not require foundation or compact powder the shade of my skin. I don’t even know why I started, but I did and it became a fetish. It was exciting to see that with a few flicks of mascara to your eyelashes, your eyes could appear larger. That with an eyeliner, your eyes could have a totally different look – a nice feline look. That powder the exact shade of your skin could hide any blemish. That the way you dab lip gloss could give your lips a certain pout? At first, it seems like fun. You use it once and it not only enhances the best features of your face, it changes them. You enjoy the compliments rolling in, probably even get an award for being the most beautiful girl around. Years after, you find that you can’t stop. Even if you dare to try, you notice a complete difference in the compliments people give you. From “You look amazing!” to “you look different”(This does not necessarily mean you look better), “Are you feeling well? you look sick”, “You look tired”. The worst are those who don’t compliment AT ALL – They just stare at you. That kind of i-can’t-believe-you-look-this-way-without-makeup kind of stare. The next time they see you looking all super fly with make-up on, they don’t even bother to compliment – They know!
*sigh* So tell me, how exactly do you ‘run’ the world if you cannot bear to have the opposite sex see you without make-up on. Rather, how exactly do you ‘run’ the world if people can barely recognize you with no makeup on, or you only get hit-on when you do? How can you claim you are not a ‘tad’ insecure?
Then there’s our clothing.
I was reading an article about different kinds of clothes for different types of body types. I remember reading sentences that said, “flaunt your this”, “cinch your that”, “go daring with this”, “Draw attention to that”, “This will make you look slimmer”, “This will make your (fill in this space) look bigger” … It was an endless list of superficial jargon.
It got me wondering, why do we women fall for this sort of crap? I mean, why do we constantly fall under the hood of such advice before we feel pretty? Why should we flaunt, cinch, or enhance any of our body parts? To get whose gratification? Our fellow women?(really?), or the men?. Sometimes it makes me feel like we women are some sort of meat. Men now have the liberty to make options for the kind of woman they want. Now a guy can decide if he wants a woman with boobs and no ass, or ass with no boobs, or ass with boobs. It’s like asking, do you like your meat cooked, stir-fried, over cooked, tough, medium rare? Terrifying!
So how do you ‘run’ the world if you’ve got to flaunt a little bit of this, or expose a little bit of that before you can feel you look good enough?
Then there’s the hair extensions – some of us are so ashamed of our natural hair- to the fixing of nails and eye lashes to cosmetic surgery. The proof of our insecurities are as glaring as the desert sun. The list of what we fall for is endless. The thing is, most of us have gotten so involved in such habits, that we cannot see how far gone we are. We are so addicted that men have gotten used to it and when we dare ‘try’ to stop and they don’t act like they ought to – the worshipful, attentive, glorifying manner, we are forced to continue – it’s a gruesome tiresome vicious cycle.
Some of us have become so fixated on being objects of desire that we would rather be known for our assets than not be known at all. Our love for attention has driven some of us to do the most jaw-dropping things that has led some members of the opposite sex to justify the reasons why they demean us. Now you find them calling us ‘bitches’ and ‘hoes’ , and for the life of me, I can’t understand how some women have come to even accept being called these terms. To some, these terms are an honour, a pride. Now they use us to decorate music videos that don’t even require our presence. We’re just there to hump and bump and to be grinded against. It’s like some of us need to be recognized, but are using all the wrong ways to achieve that feat.
Some men see us as money chasers; a painful generalization. Some of the opposite sex believe that all they have to do is to get wealthy. That wealth will make up for the disgusting debasing attitudes they possess. That with a few gifts and a tweak in some areas, we will follow. It’s painful this overview of our sex by some men, but as much as it is ignorant it holds a little truth, as it applies to a lot of us these days. It is because so many of us follow the mantra, “I want to marry a rich husband” without trying to reshape our ideals on how we can work hard ourselves to become successful. Some of us just want things easy, and will use their assets to get it. Ho ho ho! Merry christmas!
Why should any woman want to be known for her face alone? or any of her assets alone? Why should any woman want to be known as the girl all the guys have groped? Why should any woman feel these are achievements? What is wrong with the world?!
More specifically, what has happened to a lot of us women?
Don’t get me wrong, I am not against the use of make-up or the others(minus the cosmetic surgery unless you’ve been in a pretty terrible accident). Rather I am against the addiction, the fact that a lot of us do not feel good about ourselves without it. I am against the fact that ‘beauty’ is judged based on how well someone looks good with these ‘add-ons’. I am against the fact that companies are making money off women’s securities(Come on! These guys are even making aging look bad!). I am strongly against the fact that we are accepting these companies’ efforts that make us feel more insecure about ourselves.
Again don’t get me wrong. I am not against the fact that a woman may be known for her asset. Sometimes it just happens, and the woman may even be oblivious to it. What I am against is a woman who sees her asset as a life-time achievement, and uses these means to get what she wants in life. When a lot of us women feel the need to flaunt our assets , it debases all of us to the most elemental level.
A lot of us women need to wake up and smell the coffee. Beauty fades, boobs sag, asses droop, stretch marks and cellulite mar our skin. This is what makes us who we are; these things we must embrace. Even excess cosmetic surgeries won’t help for long cos’ after a while you begin to look faker than a mannequin. Develop your character and your ideals. Some of us need to bulldoze the mentality that men are the center of the universe. We do not need their physical assessment of us to measure our worth, how great we are, or will be. If some of us continue down this path, they are on an inevitable trip to heartbreak hotel.
And my greatest fear is, too many of us are so far gone…
Photo Credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/paulbourbousson/7659217024/