Arguments drain me.
I have never really enjoyed debates.., and debating. The thought of two people giving opposing yet somewhat logical points makes me wonder how there can ever be peace at the end. Sure, at the end of formal debates, the judge declares a winner and the winner takes home the victory prize. In my opinion, the only reason why the person won is because they made more logical and outstanding points than the latter. In other words, even though the latter made coherent points, they just weren’t enough. Or so it seems.., to me.
Arguments are much much worse.
For starters, there is no judge to declare a winner, or regulate the argument.When it’s just you and someone arguing, voices tend to rise. Yes, i’m referring to those arguments that turn awry. The kind that the only way you think you can make a point is by shouting the loudest, by making faces, and twisting the points the other person has made so that the person looks stupid. The kind of arguments where a person feels because they have to win, they spill secrets(especially when there is an audience) just to make the other person shut up. The kind of arguments where people forget why they started quarreling and start to say things to hurt each other. The kind of arguments where people say hurtful things they don’t mean.The kind of argument that things get out of hand and it leads to the two people hitting each other, or one person hitting the other. Aargh!
Those kind of pointless and draining arguments. Those kind of arguments that can end relationships because both people refused to hear the other out.
However, I kinda like productive arguments(although still exhausting) where people let go of their negative feelings towards each other. More like a ‘say your mind and i’ll say mine’ or ‘let’s clear the misunderstanding’ kind of arguments. You both may yell at each other, but you’re both mature enough to know when to stop talking so that you can listen to what the other has to say. You’re both able to admit faults, if any exist. Those kind of mature arguments that tighten bonds rather than break them.
I think the problem is, people don’t know when to stop arguing and don’t detect when things are getting out of hand. Here, people start to believe the hurtful things they are saying to each other because generally, it is believed that what a person truly feels about you always springs out in a quarrel. This belief is true, but not in all cases. Sometimes people just feel they have to say things to rattle you up because they feel they are losing in the argument. Also, people don’t listen to what the other has to say during an argument, but instead are thinking of the next thing to say. Even if they listen, some refuse to understand what the person has said because they have already made up their mind that the person is wrong. Another huge problem is, people refuse to admit they are wrong or rather, some people feel they are always right.
Although it’s quite hard to reflect during that kind of situation, I believe it’s necessary, because it makes you wonder if what you’re arguing about is worth it, and think of ways to make sure whatever caused it is not repeated again.
I have come to realize that arguments are exhausting and time-wasting. Rather, If I must argue, then it should be because I can provide a solution afterwards. Also, I need to learn to control my temper. When people misunderstand me or hurt me, I have to even things out, instead of worsening the situation with what I might say out of anger so that I don’t regret afterwards. It’s soo darn hard, but i’ll try… even if there are some people that just looove to tempt you into arguing with them.
Because really, there is no point arguing and both parties go their separate ways without resolving the issue. Then the point of the argument was highly necessary.
No more…no more
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