Solitude

There are moments when I want to be alone.

It’s something I can’t explain. I don’t know why I enjoy the solitude, the silence, the lack of company. It’s not that I’m sad or something bad happened. Or that I need to think about some ‘deep’ controversial matter, or even meditate. I just want to be alone.

During these moments, I feel tempted to wipe myself from existence, albeit temporarily. I have this impulse to delete my twitter account, my facebook account and even my blackberry messenger. I don’t answer calls or reply text messages. Almost pretending that I don’t exist. Also, I don’t watch tv or listen to music. And the weird part is, I don’t feel lonely…

Sometimes, during these moments, I would sit and stare into space,sometimes thinking about things that don’t relate, or actually do. Other times I lie down, and my mind is devoid of thoughts; just waiting for time to pass by.

And it is weird how I enjoy the solitude. Some friends have complained, and I have lost some due to the habit. But it’s something that I’ve been doing for a while now.

It’s  my way of going into hibernation mode. When I’m exhausted of the routine and the redundancy in my surroundings. When I keep seeing the same thing going on, but in different ways. When things suddenly don’t make sense. When I can’t stand the absurd reality of some things. It’s my little way of escaping from it all..

And I guess it’s just the way I am.. one who loves her company a little too much..

“A young one with an old soul..”

 

 

 

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Photo Credit: http://teamaltman.com/2011/10/the-zen-of-solitude/
Quote retrieved from: Pac Poetry

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7 thoughts on “Solitude

  1. I can really relate to this post. I too enjpy moments of solitude sometimes. It’s hard to explain why. As you say, it’s not because you are sad or depressed but sometimes you just need to opt out. 🙂

    • Exactly! I am so glad you understand what I was trying to put across. I was a little scared that people may misunderstand this for depression or loneliness. Im glad you understand this. Thanks for commenting 🙂

  2. I know that impulse.
    That shrieking bell in the spotlight, droning out rational though,
    or perhaps irrational thought.
    I’ve never really stopped to consider it, actually.

    I wonder, have you ever gone through with your impulses?
    And how did that make you feel if you did?

    • Actually I have,but that was a while back. I deleted my bbmessenger and left it that way for a week. If felt so good. I didnt have to pick up my phone every five minutes to check out recent updates or chat like I used to. I felt free,somewhat.After a week however, I reinstalled my bbm. Have you had such an impulse?

  3. Thanks for sharing dis… I find myself in such kinda mood too.. All i do is turn my phone off n just sit alone reflecting on past issues and future plans or jus plain nothing… U shared my deepest feeling.. Thnks

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