There are moments when I want to be alone.
It’s something I can’t explain. I don’t know why I enjoy the solitude, the silence, the lack of company. It’s not that I’m sad or something bad happened. Or that I need to think about some ‘deep’ controversial matter, or even meditate. I just want to be alone.
During these moments, I feel tempted to wipe myself from existence, albeit temporarily. I have this impulse to delete my twitter account, my facebook account and even my blackberry messenger. I don’t answer calls or reply text messages. Almost pretending that I don’t exist. Also, I don’t watch tv or listen to music. And the weird part is, I don’t feel lonely…
Sometimes, during these moments, I would sit and stare into space,sometimes thinking about things that don’t relate, or actually do. Other times I lie down, and my mind is devoid of thoughts; just waiting for time to pass by.
And it is weird how I enjoy the solitude. Some friends have complained, and I have lost some due to the habit. But it’s something that I’ve been doing for a while now.
It’s my way of going into hibernation mode. When I’m exhausted of the routine and the redundancy in my surroundings. When I keep seeing the same thing going on, but in different ways. When things suddenly don’t make sense. When I can’t stand the absurd reality of some things. It’s my little way of escaping from it all..
And I guess it’s just the way I am.. one who loves her company a little too much..
“A young one with an old soul..”
Photo Credit: http://teamaltman.com/2011/10/the-zen-of-solitude/
Quote retrieved from: Pac Poetry